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“Yeah. I can’t wait! I’ve been working on my Christmas list since last December 26th.” Puzzled, I explained that I was talking about Thanksgiving.
“Oh, right,” she said. “Turkey day.”
I began to feel sorry for Thanksgiving for not getting its fair share of attention. So I asked my children why they thought Thanksgiving was special.
“Because we don’t have school?” one asked.
“To kick off the Christmas shopping season?”
“So Grandma and Grandpa can visit, take over my bedroom, and tell me about their hips, corns, arthritis and constipation?”
I was appalled. “Try again,” I said.
“It’s sure not because I’m thankful for the million dishes I have to do after eating all day.”
“And I’m not thankful for the weird food you make out of the ‘2,000 Ways to Serve Leftover Turkey’ cookbook, either.”
It makes sense that some kids don’t understand why Thanksgiving is a big deal. There’s no dressing up in costumes, no stockings to hang, no candy and surprises to heighten the anticipation. Kids may have a hard time appreciating the efforts of the pilgrims. How can they relate to pulling up to a new land in the Mayflower when they would die at the thought of arriving anywhere in a big old boat with no rockin’ sound system or sun roof?
They may not understand why pilgrims gleefully awoke each morning just for making it through another cold night, while kids shun the sight of day until noon. And while the pilgrims were thankful to sit down to a meal of squash, many kids would rather starve than eat it. So how do we help our children understand why we celebrate Thanksgiving, and the idea of being thankful?
Start by revisiting history and reading about Thanksgiving, or check out Web sites that give details on the Thanksgiving story, such as www.wilstar.com/holidays. When your family is together, discuss the hardships and sacrifices the pilgrims faced to start a new life and how those efforts made our current lives possible. Help your kids connect with the pilgrims. Most teenagers can relate to standing up for a cause or rebelling against authority, which is exactly what the pilgrims did. Perhaps your kids can think of values worth standing up for or other similarities to the pilgrims.
Get into Thanksgiving with trivia contests. Have family members take turns asking trivia questions to see who knows the significance of Plymouth Rock, how many pilgrims survived the first year, what was eaten at the first Thanksgiving feast or which president made Thanksgiving an official holiday.
Now I realize the thought of kids being overjoyed for the little things they have is crazy. But make this Thanksgiving different. Remind kids they have much to be thankful for. Point out what they are able to enjoy today as a result of the struggles and bravery of those first pilgrims. Perhaps you could set a notebook in the kitchen and have each family member write or draw a picture of something they were thankful for every day during the week of Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving Day, read the list aloud to celebrate things your family holds dear. Remind your kids that being grateful should include small things like a favorite pair of pajamas, waking up without a new pimple, the sun shining or finding one more piece of gum in the bottom of the junk drawer.
Point out benefits of giving thanks. Research suggests that thankful people become better listeners, have more positive attitudes, are more likely to help others, feel less stress, keep priorities in focus and even sleep better. People who are thankful for what they have accomplished tend to keep disappointments in perspective.
This year, stuff your Thanksgiving with gratitude. Help your kids gobble up the meaning of the day by giving thanks for what they have. Ready, set, go! Last one to come up with a reason to celebrate is a rotten turkey!
Ann-Marie Berg is a pediatric nurse practitioner.
