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However, it’s safe to say that most of us don’t think of it in positive terms. We see it as something we’d typically prefer to avoid. Actually, stress itself is neutral; it can be good or bad. One widely accepted definition refers to it as “the nonspecific response of the body to any demand for change.”
This meaning is very broad and leaves a lot open to interpretation.
Many situations require us to make changes. We may even welcome some of them. For example, life events such as getting married, being promoted at work or having a child are generally desirable. But anybody who has experienced these things knows that they can place major demands on us. Other events, such moving, returning to school or retiring can vary quite a bit regarding how demanding they are. It depends on how we perceive them.
Stress is part of being alive. Everybody and everything experiences it. Our bodies constantly maintain a balance between internal systems and the environment. If we lost all muscle tension, we would collapse. In fact, the complete absence of stress is equivalent to death.
The problem is when stress becomes “distress.”
This happens when the demands we face exceed our ability to cope with them. It is at these times that stress can lead to physical problems such as hypertension, ulcers, headaches and colitis — to name a few. It can also cause psychological problems such as depression and anxiety. Symptoms can include worry, insomnia, appetite disturbance, panic attacks and thoughts of suicide. We get “burned out.”
What can a person do when they find it difficult to cope with the demands that life presents? One option is to learn to say “no” to expectations or requests from others. This is difficult for most
people and not always an option if we are responsible for someone’s physical well-being. It is still a good idea to question whether any given task is something we have to do.
Another option is to practice relaxation exercises. One simple exercise is lay down or recline and to tense your entire body and hold that tension for 10 seconds. Quickly release that tension and allow the relaxation to flow into your muscles. There are similar approaches that involve progressively tensing and relaxing smaller muscle groups. The result is the same. You could add to this experience by imagining yourself in a very soothing and peaceful environment n like a warm beach or mountain stream. Take note of your breathing and allow it to slow down.
A third suggestion is to simply take care of your physical body. Good rest, diet and exercise can help increase our ability to tolerate the many demands that come our way.
Finally, social support can be crucial in managing stress. Share your burden with a caring friend or family member. Knowing that you are not alone can be a healing experience.
All of these approaches will take some time and energy. You may have to make a special effort to allow yourself to relax. But remember, you are worth the time.
Diana is a licensed mental health professional at the Family & Children’s Center in Winona.
