Story originally printed in the Winona Daily News or online at www.winonadailynews.com
Published - Wednesday, October 08, 2008
A truly amazing race and its cast of characters
“Paris Hilton’s My BFF” premiered last week on MTV.
Why would you waste your time on this too pink, too plastic reality show when there’s something much more exciting to watch? Seriously, the woman still says “That’s hot,” a phrase that is about as hip as “fo shizzle” or “keep on truckin’.”
What you really need to be watching is the 2008 presidential race, a show that has all the best qualities of good reality TV.
There’s a fascinating cast of diverse characters. Viewers pick who to root for, who to root against. Some people are undecided, which annoys devoted fans to no end.
The plot evolves with each new episode. Sometimes you wonder — how much of this is scripted? I mean, a moose-shooting governor of Alaska? You can’t make this stuff up.
GOP presidential hopeful Sen. John McCain is like the salt-and-pepper-haired Taylor Hicks. At age 29, Hicks was the oldest winner of “American Idol.” Some love him for his experience. Others think he’s too old. Both have been considered mavericks for going against the grain. Both have been accused of selling out, with McCain softening some of his beliefs and Hicks singing for his supper promoting Ford vehicles after his win.
GOP vice presidential hopeful and Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin is like Jessica Simpson. While Palin was watching out for Ruskies as mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, Simpson was trying to prove there was room in the world for another blond pop princess. Then they were in the spotlight — Palin as the VP nominee and Simpson as star of MTV’s “Newlyweds.”They’re both fun to watch. Adorable even, yet both are easily confused — the Bush Doctrine is Palin’s Chicken of the Sea.
Democratic presidential hopeful Sen. Barack Obama is like Brett Michaels from VH1’s “Rock of Love.” Both have been dismissed as too much flash, not enough substance. “The Change We Need” and “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” sound nice at first but after repeated listening can come across as clichés.
Democratic vice presidential hopeful Sen. Joe Biden is like Jeff Probst, host of “Survivor.” Both have been around a long time. They’re often in the background overseeing, but seldom causing, chaos. Don’t let that fool you. They’re power players who know how the game is played.
Former Democratic presidential hopeful Sen. Hillary Clinton is like Clay Aiken. Many believe she should’ve won the Democratic presidential nomination and that Aiken should’ve won “American Idol.” Even though neither won, neither is going away. Sure there are detractors, but fans are fervent. Don’t get in the way of a Hillary fan or Claymate. Seriously.
Independent presidential candidate Ralph Nader is like Tyra Banks, star and creator of “America’s Next Top Model.” He has an amazing amount of power, even though it annoys people to no end. Try as he might, he’ll never be president — and Tyra will never be Oprah.
How can you not be fascinated by this show, tuning in to every development? Maybe you haven’t been paying too much attention. That’s OK. Watch some reruns. They’re not hard to find.
This match is close. Very close. Your vote matters.
Just think, if Kelly Clarkson’s fans wouldn’t have come out in full force, Justin Guarini could have been the winner of season one of “American Idol.”
If you’re not watching, you don’t know what you’re missing.
Käri Knutson may be reached at kknutson@winonadaily news.com or (507) 453-3523.
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