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A fail-proof reassurance that Tike is normal, though, is if he is obsessed with cell phones. If Tike has cost a fortune in minutes, texted more than his limit, talked into one, commented on one or requested upgrades, then Tike is normal. So when Tike turns 5 and swears he needs a phone of his own, you may begin wondering about the appropriate age to let him join the family plan.
Figuring out the right time to get your child a cell phone isn’t cut and dry. If left up to the kids, they would call you from the nursery to tell you they’ve been discharged and are ready to head home. If left up to parents, phones would require a license like a car. If caught speed-talking or violating cell phone etiquette, then the phone would be ticketed or revoked. Any way you look at it, the right time seems to be just a matter of time.
When you begin thinking about buying your child a cell phone, ask yourself why you are doing it. Is it simply because his friends have one, because he wants to use it as a status symbol, or because you are having a hard time staying in touch due to family logistics? Perhaps you would just like him to get his own phone so he will stop taking yours and messing with your ringtone.
Think about whether your child is responsible enough to have a phone. OK, so that may never happen. Instead, would he be able to follow rules like answering the phone whenever a parent calls? Would he actually turn the phone on so he can be reached when needed? Would he lose it or go over on minutes? Is he old enough to understand and follow cell phone etiquette when he hasn’t mastered any other etiquette? Will he be safe or will he answer calls from unknown senders or hand out his number to anyone willing to call him?
Consider the pros and cons of your child having a phone. On the upside, one of the biggest advantages is that you can take it away. Nothing is more effective at behavior modification than threats to lose something for misbehaving.
If your family circumstances are such that keeping in touch or communicating is difficult, cell phones are a convenient solution. If your child walks home from school or has activities that require tricky logistics, having a phone to check in and report safe arrivals provides reassurance.
Perhaps the best response to your pestering child is that you will get him a phone when you need him to have one. When it becomes harder to get in touch with your child or keep up with changing schedules, then the time is right. Before then, it is probably not necessary. More important than a specific age is whether your child can use the phone appropriately, safely and responsibly. Only then will you feel good about getting connected and confident that you will stay connected.
Ann-Marie Berg is a pediatric nurse practitioner and freelance writer whose work appears in other newspapers. She can be reached at amhberg@mchsi.com.
