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Story originally printed in the Winona Daily News or online at www.winonadailynews.com

Published - Thursday, May 08, 2008

Take time to appreciate and respect your elders

By Sherry Nelson | Community columnist

I am 38 years old and have no more living grandparents. I have lost loved grandparents at ages 8, 34 and 35. I never met my paternal grandmother. She died when I was quite young.

However, I do have my husband’s grandparents: Elmer, Ruth and Grandpa Mac. Tony’s maternal grandmother died when his mother was barely a teenager.

I had the opportunity to sit with Elmer and Ruth at a college graduation party for my sister-in-law. I generally seek out both of them because I don’t get to see them much, even though they live in Winona. They treat me as one of their own grandchildren, and I do so appreciate that.

Grandpa Mac lives in Iowa, and we missed seeing him recently at a birthday party. He is also as sweet as can be.

I know, I know. Grandparents Day isn’t until September, but I feel that with Memorial Day approaching, hopefully my random thoughts will serve as a reminder to appreciate the elderly people in our lives.

We really should remember our loved ones every day, not just one day a year.

Elmer thinks he is older than he is. I remind him that my grandmother’s twin sister is approaching 95 and is happy as a lark. I may be naive in some ways, but to me age is but a number.

Elmer asks if I will write his obituary when the time comes. (He and Ruth just may be my only fans.) I say, “Sure, but it will have to wait 10 to 15 years. I will write your obituary, but I don’t want to do it any time soon.” Elmer is OK with that.

I suggest to him to write down random thoughts in a notebook of what I should include. I hope he will do this. I know from experience with my father’s passing, that the funeral home writes a basic obituary, and the family has

a chance to edit what it writes. My mother and I

went to town rewriting my dad’s obituary in 2005. It would have made my father proud.

I can do the same for Elmer, but again, I don’t want to do it anytime soon.

These people are walking history. They have lived through decades of news headlines. They have bore children and have been elated over the births of their grandchildren. Elmer and Ruth have several great-grandchildren. I don’t remember any great-grandparents. I do so hope my daughters Cecilia and Lily remember some of theirs, including the Teddybear Grandma (my maternal grandmother), God rest her soul.

I am sad today because I really don’t want to think about losing any more loved ones. However, I do realize that dying is a part of living, and I believe with all my heart that the life after this one is the one that counts. I never tire of hearing or reading the Eskimo legend referring to the death of loved ones. It goes something likes this:

“Perhaps they are not the stars,

but rather openings in Heaven,

where the love of our lost ones pours through

and shines down upon us,

to let us know they are happy.”

Isn’t that a nice thought?

While we have them, I think it is of the utmost importance to love and appreciate those elderly people in our lives. They do have a lot to offer and are full of history.

If you have the chance, go out and hug your grandparents today. I will, in the mean time, take up Ruth’s offer to teach me to crochet. (I actually invited myself over to their home to learn.)

In the mean time, I think I will sit on my deck one night and gaze up at the stars. I hope the spirits of my ancestors will be sparkling down upon me.

Sherry Nelson is joyfully married and mother of two little girls. When it comes to spewing political views, the former DFLer claims to be a victim of Stockholm Syndrome.