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The other day, a song on the radio caught my attention. The lyrics by Trace Adkins went something like “You’re going to miss this; you’re going to want this back.”
Adkins crooned about the times in life when we wish we were older, want more, or are completely frustrated for a moment.
The song struck a chord with me, as these past few weeks I have watched the local college students wrap up their finals, get ready to move for the summer or graduate. Driving down Third Street early Friday evening it was a hub of activity: students, parents, and friends celebrating. The scene gave me a second to reflect how many years ago I was in that position, grumbling about my 8 a.m. final, trying to get my apartment clean enough to at least receive part of my security deposit back but managing it, so I could get out to celebrate the warm weather and end of the year with friends. I miss that.
High school students are facing similar challenges and dilemmas. The other day at the store I caught two girls discussing their angst over prom and their parents’ expectations for the evening. I thought of my own prom and was reminded how simple life was at that point. Curfew, classes and cliques ruled the day — at one point, moving in the middle of high school was the end of the world for me, if I only knew.
My children often grumble about how they wish they were grownups and what they will do when they gain independence. Playing the PlayStation whenever they want and not having to go to bed at 8 p.m. top that list of activities. I usually laugh and let them know I wish I could go to bed at 8 p.m., though I’ll pass on the video games.
While I reminisce about the happy times of my younger years, when I wasn’t so happy, an article in the April 18, issue of Time magazine reports we are happier when we grow older.
Part of the theory, written by Yang Yang, a University of Chicago sociologist, is that life gets better because one’s perception of what makes a person happy changes. The theory makes sense. As I have aged, simple things like a sleeping baby, which did nothing for me in my teen years, now will make me ooh and ahh. I’ll jump for joy if they are my own.
The study done by the University of Chicago was based on in-person interviews between 1972 and 2004 with a wide range of Americans. About 28,000 people aged 18 to 88 participated. The study found the differences between people faded as they aged, and an individual’s happiness generally increased 5 percent for every 10 years of age.
As for being social, I thought it was at its peak when I was in high school and college, but a separate University of Chicago study found that even though social circles may shrink as we grow older, 75 percent of people aged 57 to 85 participate in at least one social activity a week!
That again comes from the difference in people fading and our social connection widening. Good news for high school student: Cliques do eventually fade away.
So while I miss the days of carefree living, apparently they may be lurking again in the future. As for the Trace Adkins song, he sings of the day when a mother will miss her children screaming and crying. I am still trying to imagine that, but I do believe it will happen just as I miss my years of so-called teen angst. By the way, congratulations to the class of 2008!
Modjeski lives in Winona and her column appears in the Daily News on Mondays.
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