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Story originally printed in the Winona Daily News or online at www.winonadailynews.com

Published - Friday, May 02, 2008

Marie Holmquist: Media and technology blur the lines of ‘out there’ and ‘in here’

By Marie Holmquist | Neighbors columnist

I have spent a great deal of time in front of the computer the past several months. I am enrolled in some online courses through the University of Minnesota. When I signed up for classes in this format, I knew that I would be stretching the outer limits of my nonexistent techie skills, and I was right.

I have had to upgrade my service and my computer software, and I really set about learning how to deal with attachments, saving in the proper format, tables, chat rooms and more. While it has been an enormous struggle sometimes, it has also afforded me the opportunity to get U of M instruction from my kitchen.

Probably the single greatest learning from this course has been to experience an upside to the otherwise crazy-seeming world of technology and media. As a home visitor, I work with parents often on setting limits with their kids on the amount of screen time they can experience. “Screen time” refers to the total time a child may spend in front of a computer, TV or video game screen. This is a quantity that is growing exponentially every year.

I think back to my growing up. One TV, black and white, in the living room, with a selection of four channels: CBS, NBC, ABC and Channel 2, otherwise known as PBS. PBS rarely came in clearly when I was a kid. Our TV had a dial channel changer, 12 possible turns of the dial, and rabbit-ear antennas, so PBS was hit and miss. I don’t think it should even count as a station, leaving my total viewing options to three channels.

What to watch was only a concern if Mom or Dad wasn’t home. If they were, we watched what they watched, and we watched together. “Gunsmoke,” ‘Hawaii 5-0” and “60 Minutes” were must-sees. The comedies were “The Carol Burnett Show,” “Laugh-In” (which my parents considered far too racy to watch) and “The Dick Van Dyke Show.” I compare this show in particular to what is offered to my kids, and I really wonder what the next 20 years will bring.

“The Dick Van Dyke Show” featured Rob and Laura Petrie, a young metropolitan couple living a traditional (for the times) life of a suburban couple. They had one young son, funny friends and disagreements between them. I can still remember the Laura Petrie wail, crying to Rob, a.k.a. Dick Van Dyke, because of some minor catastrophe. She cried, he panicked, they made up, and they sat on the edge of one of the two beds in their master bedroom. Two beds, because the idea of a married couple sleeping together was too touchy for primetime TV.

I contrast this with the pallet of shows available to my kids today: “Friends,” “Two and a Half Men,” “World Wrestling Entertainment” and “That ’70s Show.” TV of today has every combination of voting off: off the runway, off the island, out of Idol-land, and off the dance floor. The tears and wails are of those rejected, cast off the show, tossed out by the bachelor or fired by the Donald. There is no making up, and there are no single beds.

We have come a long way. When I signed up for this class, I needed to upgrade my Internet service. It was cheaper to bundle a package with phone and cable, but it meant more channels than the basic service we had always gotten. It couldn’t be that bad, I told myself. So, here I am, eight months in, and — hello! I am not in Kansas anymore. I have crossed over the rainbow to a very different place, and it is not filled with whimsical flowers or munchkins.

The offerings of expanded cable have expanded every highlight of people’s worst moments. If your neighbor’s house is lacking, get them on “Trading Spaces.” If you don’t like how your sister dresses, put her on “What Not to Wear.” So much for an inviting culture. We seem to have grown into the culture of rejection.

This says nothing of the power of the cell phone to record your worst moments. Whip that phone out, record the incriminating event, and get it on YouTube. While you are at it, get the still photos on Facebook, and make sure to write about it on someone’s wall. The entire world has apparently been waiting for the profound revelations that 30 years ago would have been passed in a note in class and read by the teacher for your public humiliation. Apparently, there is no public humiliation in cyberspace; it is all “must see” or at least “must post.”

As I am reviewing some of the latest information about media and how it has changed over the past generation, I wonder what my children will face in raising their children. It used to be that curfew meant “be home, no phone, by this time.” There was a very clear line between the world “out there” and the family in the home. With cell phones that don’t ring out loud, text messaging, computers that allow communication 24-7, there are rarely times when the world is truly “out there” and the family “in here.” That line of safety is really compromised, if not obliterated altogether.

I know there is an upside. Doing computer work from home is a lifesaver. E-mails allow easy communication with my faraway kids. Cell phones are a great convenience and a great security. The online course is a great example of the benefit of technology. I just hope we as a society are up to the task of safeguarding our family “in here” from the world “out there” enough to allow our next generation to experience what family is and learn that real entertainment is more about face-to-face communication than Facebook to MySpace.