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Who is going to give us that $1,200 anyway, some rich guy? I don’t think so.
You know who pays all the bills in this country, and you and I also pay our politicians to send money all over the world.
Squander it, throw it around, have fun with it, it’s free money anyway. What I believe to be goofy spending is just what somebody else might think is entirely appropriate. So I will limit myself to ways to put my free money to “good” use.
Maybe I should to buy some gasoline for my car. I’d like to pay the same price as the Iraqis do. After their government discounts, they pay a dollar something a gallon for gas, and then the Iraqis charge our soldiers about $4 a gallon for it.
But then, if I could find somebody in Iraq to buy it for me, the cost of shipping it to Wisconsin would be outlandish, besides the buyer could never get 300 gallons or 800 gallons onto the airplane, and I’d also have to buy him a ticket to America.
If Kathy and I used our payment to purchase bicycles we wouldn’t need to buy any gasoline. Maybe I should invest it in oil stocks, but if I did I’d be buying stock from the guy who already made billions on me, and wants to make some more.
I could make a voluntary donation to reduce the national debt. A little less than $800 deducted from the trillions we are in debt is a small, but nevertheless, good start.
You notice I discounted between $400 and $500 taxes I’ll be paying on my stimulus bonus. The state of Wisconsin will have to wait until next March for its share of my tax payment.
Maybe I should donate my windfall to somebody’s already bulging campaign fund. I would send it to one of the politicians if only I knew which candidate was going to win.
The last time I got free money I bought a few double pane windows to make our home more energy efficient. It isn’t very glamorous but I’ll probably buy a few more new windows this time. I wonder if those window guys invest their profit in oil stocks.
Kathy plans to put her half of the money toward a newer, more efficient, refrigerator. Now you see why I married her? She’ll be as reckless with her windfall as I am. And I was thinking she would spend her half on summer outfits. Or should I say outfit, I don’t know anything about the price of women’s clothes.
Until next time, Orlin Brommer.
Brommer is a lifelong resident of Buffalo County. “Therefore being normal is a constant struggle. Maybe the hills, coulees and dugways are to blame for the imbalance,” he says.
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