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Jason.
Nothing makes Ruth Roffler happier than hearing her son’s name.
Fourteen years after his death, Ruth welcomes any opportunity to reminisce about Jason’s life and how his fatal battle with cancer changed hers.
“The worst thing for a parent to hear is, Mom, I have a lump on my hip,’” Ruth said.
She immediately took her 17-year-old son to the doctor. Four days later, tests confirmed that Jason had malignant osteogenic sarcoma, the most common bone cancer in children. And one of the most aggressive.
Jason and his doctors at Mayo Clinic fought back.
“We’re going to hit Jason with our biggest guns,” doctors told her.
Doctors amputated Jason’s left leg and administered vigorous chemotherapy treatments.
Ruth prayed for a miracle.
Ruth and her husband, Chris, had already lost one son, Scott, 13 hours after his birth. Ruth thought that God would spare Jason because “surely he wouldn’t take my only other son.”
But things didn’t look good. The cancer spread into Jason’s lungs, and doctors then said they’d done all they could.
Ruth couldn’t cope with Jason’s cancer.
“I was so angry at myself that I couldn’t be strong for him, that I couldn’t be there for him those first couple months,” she said.
She couldn’t eat or sleep or concentrate. She didn’t want to get out of bed. Even her kidneys shut down. Ruth was hospitalized for six weeks and placed on suicide watch.
Eventually, Ruth accepted that she would not get her miracle.
She began to pray a new prayer for strength.
This time, God acquiesced.
Miraculously, she said that the same woman who yelled at God, accusing him of “taking leave of his senses” that same woman who lay paralyzed with grief in a hospital bed, leaving Jason to face his fate without his mother finally got “the real answer to my prayers.”
“I found the strength to crawl up into Jason’s hospital bed and give him permission to die,” she said.
She whispered in his ear, repeating how much she loved him. And she made a promise.
“I told him, It’s OK, you can go do what you need to do,’” she said, “I’ll be OK.”
Jason was not afraid of death, but he was afraid of what would happen to his mother if he didn’t beat his cancer. He needed her assurance.
At 7:10 a.m., Sept. 30, 1994, five hours after she gave him permission, Jason died in her arms and surrounded by family.
After his death, nothing was more important than keeping Jason’s memory alive, she said.
The Rofflers planted memorial trees in their yard, at Lake Winona and at the cemetery where Jason is buried. But she wanted to do more.
She asked herself, “What would Jason want me to do?”
Two weeks before his death, Jason was chosen as the Person of Hope for the Rivertown Shuffle, a cancer fundraiser held at Lake Winona.
She decided to get involved.
“And, boy, did I get involved,” she said. “The obsession grew year after year after year.”
She moved from committee member in 1995 to chairwoman and is now co-chairwoman.
“I’d lie awake at night thinking of things we could do to make it bigger and better and increase community involvement,” she said.
Her ideas are working.
Over the past 13 years since Ruth joined the committee, the memorial luminaries have increased from 400 to 8,000. The Shuffle raised about $8,000 in 1995, compared with last year’s $60,000.
The goal is to have more luminaries read “in honor of” than “in memory of,” Ruth said. “That way we know the researchers are finding cures and saving lives.”
Working for the Rivertown Shuffle “is one of the best things I’ve done with my life,” she said.
It’s a powerful, positive event, she said. “It symbolizes that there is life after cancer.”
Hope, she said, is just as important as the money raised for research.
Ruth has hope. And nowadays, she is happy and content. The nightmare is over, and as time passes, she focuses more on the gift of Jason’s life and the lessons he taught her.
Now, at night, she sleeps in Jason’s old room.
“I cover up with his quilt and snuggle in cozy and warm,” Ruth said.
She tells Jason goodnight and hopes he will visit her in a dream. She sleeps well, knowing she is living her promise.
GET INVOLVED
What: Rivertown Shuffle meeting for any person, group, family or business interested in getting involved
When: 6 p.m. March 24
Where: Cytec, 501 W. 3rd St.
Call: (507) 454-3611
What: Winona State University Relay for Life
When: 5 p.m. to 8 a.m.
April 12-13
Where: WSU Courtyard
Call: (507) 459-4306
What: Saint Mary’s University Relay for Life, 24-hour relay
When: 5 p.m. April 19
Where: Saint Mary’s Plaza (recreation center if rain)
Call: (507) 457-1648
What: Cancer Survivor Day celebration
When: 2 to 4 p.m. Sunday, May 18
Where: Watkins Manor,
175 E. Wabasha St.
Call: Shiela Skeels,
(507) 457-4468
What: 16th Annual Rivertown Shuffle
When: 6:30 p.m. Friday,
Sept. 19
Where: Jaycee Pavillion,
Lake Winona
Call: (507) 452-8033 or ruth.roffler@cytec.com
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