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On New Year’s Day we took our children out to eat, not to a fast food playland but to a casual sit-down restaurant.
I watched as many couples who were about to be seated next to us quietly asked the hostess if they could get a different table. Reading the looks they gave us, I knew they were really asking for a table as far away from that family with children under the age of 7 as possible.
When they asked to be moved, our children were not acting up; in fact, the waitress commented on how well-behaved they were as they sat playing with the small toys we brought.
When the food came, it went into their mouths; they didn’t fuss; and yet as I looked around at the empty tables, I felt like we had been voted off of a “Survivor” island.
It wasn’t the first time this has occurred, and I can completely understand why other patrons may not want to be near children.
All too often we hear horror stories about children in restaurants, upending the servers’ trays, using tables to play hide and seek and crying at an ear-splitting level.
As parents of three children, my husband and I believe in taking our children out to eat on a regular basis. Going out to eat as a family is a treat for my children and not an expectation. There is a history for both my husband and I when we eat out.
As a child, my husband has fond memories of going out to eat with his family to the famed Hot Fish Shop on Sundays with his five siblings — and they behaved. My family also went out for Sunday dinners. When we share these stories, there was never a doubt that we behaved. We sat and we ate.
We have both worked in the restaurant business, myself waiting tables, watching children misbehave and cleaning the mess of ketchup, salt, crackers and who knows what else left in their wake. We have made it a point to teach our children how to behave in a restaurant, whether it’s fast food or casual dining.
The road hasn’t always been easy, and we have left many places mid-meal with a crying child in tow, but our efforts have paid off as our older two children can sit, order and wait. We rarely have an issue.
We have found a few things that aid in dining at a restaurant. These are non-scientific but have been successful for us.
We only take our children to restaurants that have a children’s menu. While we like fine dining, white linens and our children just don’t mix.
Our typical outing is for breakfast or dinner as the noon hour tends to be during naptime, which means cranky children.
As we place our orders, we usually place the childrens’ as soon as we sit, hoping it comes a little faster than ours providing less wait and allowing more time for the pokey eaters.
There are consequences for inappropriate behavior. If anyone begins to act up, it is time for the family to go, no questions asked. This causes us, the other patrons and the waitstaff less stress.
Finally when seated we prefer booths as it seems to limit the amount of interaction with others in the restaurant — the children are trapped inside next to us.
Many restaurants have become much more family friendly as well. They may seat families in one area, and patrons without children in another. There are also the kid-friendly menus that double as coloring pages, and drink cups with lids and bendable straws.
We aren’t alone in our beliefs about children in restaurants. A recent poll taken by Parenting Magazine in its January 2008 issue asked parents if it was OK to take a toddler to a fancy restaurant. Sixty-two percent said they didn’t mind as long as the children are well-behaved. Another 30 percent responded “yes,” they take their children everywhere and don’t mind if other parents do so. Just 8 percent said no, when they go for a nice meal they do not want to be around booster seats and chaos.
Again, if children aren’t taught how to behave or act in these public places, how will they know?
A family dinner out should be a treat for both children and parents alike. I would guess a dinner with children running track through the restaurant and practicing their aim with french fries isn’t a treat for anyone.
As far as feeling like we’ve been voted off of “Survivor,” it’s fine with me. My next challenge is getting my children to order something besides mini-corndogs.
Modjeski lives in Winona and her column is featured in the Winona Daily News every Monday.
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xfs-123 wrote on Jan 20, 2008 12:56 AM: