My check engine light is on again, the dog’s picked up a new bad habit and I’ve been having an occasional, unaccountable pain shoot across the arch of my left foot. If it wasn’t for S.S. Bajwa, I might start feeling sorry for myself, but there’s nothing like the story of a man killed by monkeys to put my own problems in perspective.
As reported by the BBC, “The deputy mayor of the Indian capital Delhi has died a day after being attacked by a horde of wild monkeys.” Bajwa was at home, minding his own business, reading the Sunday paper when a troop of Rhesus macaques burst in and started roughing him up. The situation escalated, ending when the embattled Bajwa took a header off his balcony.
After reading that, it’s really hard to go around believing I have real problems.
This week has been just chock full of news that sets me to counting my blessings all over again. Not only was there the usual news that made me so pleased my daughter isn’t Britney Spears, but over and over I was reminded that no matter how ominous the noises coming from the refrigerator, there are a lot of people out there with problems I’ve never come close to confronting.
Consider the people caring for feral cats. Non sequitur or not, there apparently exists a coterie of committed people devoted to looking after the welfare of cats running wild … though it is highly doubtful that the cats reciprocate this concern. As further evidence that people don’t have enough to do with their lives, there is a National Feral Cat Summit scheduled for Nov. 10 and 11 in Orlando, Fla., and high on the agenda is “Disaster preparation for feral cat programs and caretakers.”
The sessions promise to address such burning questions as: “What can you do to plan for taking care of the cats if a natural or man-made emergency impacts the area where your cats live? What if evacuation of the area is required or re-entry is restricted for some reason? What if you are so personally affected that you cannot maintain your commitment to your feral cat colony? Disasters like Hurricane Katrina have had a major impact on feral cat programs. Learn how to continue caring for feral cats during emergencies and how feral cat programs can be included in community animal disaster plans.”
It’s comforting to know that as people are losing their lives, their homes and their loved ones, somebody will be looking after the stray cats. All I can say is, “Great job, Brownie!”
And now that someone’s looking after the homeless kitties in this dog-eat-dog world, other folks can attend to the socio-emotional well-being of animals entrusted to rich people. It seems that well-known wealthy person Ellen DeGeneres ended up in a state of high distress when a Los Angeles doggy-adoption agency insisted that the scruffy mutt they’d entrusted to her couldn’t be handed over to her hairdresser, apparently concerned that a hairdresser couldn’t maintain the hither-to-for homeless animal in the style to which it had grown accustomed. In due course the authorities were involved, attorneys were summoned, much emotional upset and news coverage ensued.
I guess I’m glad that somebody’s looking out for the dog, but with over 162,000 child abuse complaints and referrals filed every year in Los Angeles County, am I wrong in thinking somebody’s missing something?
And on top of all of this, Harry Potter’s wizardly mentor, Albus Dumbdledore, turns out to be gay. At least that’s what J.K Rowling says and since she wrote the books, she ought to know.
Frankly, it doesn’t make the slightest difference to me, but I’m certain it will get a bunch of folks’ undies in
a bunch — folks now convinced that not only is Harry Potter the spawn of Satan himself, but also promoting the homosexual agenda. Probably a Democrat liberal to boot. After all, Hermione and Hillary both start with “H.”
At least the bees are doing better. Now I’m no fan of buzzy things that sting, but even I understand that not all airborne hypodermics are created equal, and if I am going to continue enjoying honey mustard on my honey ham there have to be honey bees to make that honey. For the last several months we’ve been hearing how whole colonies of honeybees were dying off, but the latest news on the flying insect beat is that Minnesota bees are doing just fine, thank you. For that, and the fact that we don’t have marauding monkeys to worry about, we can all be thankful.
I guess I’ll just have to see Jerry about that check engine light.
Contact Jerome Christenson at jchristenson@winonadailynews.com.

